Thursday, September 24, 2009

JOY!

Seems so strange that this is my first blog in over a month. I am a bit ashamed as there has been plenty going on to blog about. School of course being in full swing with football, volleyball, cheerleading, and Campus Life, not to mention church obligations. My weekly schedule at first glance doesn't seem so bad, however every week I feel there is not time for me. I am embarassed to admitt that I do not have a social life. And as a 27 year old, unmarried lady this is sad...
I love my job...let me say this again, I LOVE MY Job! I am so blessed, and I am so fullfilled by it. I truly love hangin out with teenagers! They are a lot of fun, and pretty easy to listen to and talk to. But where in all of this did I lose myself. If I didn't have roomates, I wouldn't really have friends at all here in Florida. I of course have my boyfriend, Adam who I spend the majority of my spare time with , but he also works with teenagers so much of our time together is spent with students. I'm not complaining, I'm just wondering where the balance in life is. I can't imagine adding to my life without changing a few things.
Its obvious that without God everything in my life crumbles both my professional life, and my personal life. He is truly the glue that holds me together, and in the last month or so I have felt closer to Him than I have in a long time, but concern in has taken over. I get concerned for students, and money, as well as family that I can't be with. I get concerned for Adam, and my ministry. In all this concern I wonder where I have time for joy. Don't get me wrong I am not complaining and I'm not unhappy in where I am right now, I have peace about where I am, I guess maybe there is something that needs to change or move?
I have so many times prayed that my life would not be about me but about God. And I believe that I mean it, I do want my life to be less of me and more of Him. I guess I just have an inbalance somewhere that has taken my joy in this endeavor???