Have An Emily Day

Death to Life

2011-11-10T11:03:00.004-05:00

Death is something that all of us stand to face. Last week at the high school there was a student who committed suicide, I received the news of this after learning that my own mother was diagnosed with cancer. Needless to say last week had a somber tone to it, then as Saturday ended I got the news that the father-in-law of a good friend of mine had died unexpectedly. As all of these losses and illness come to me it truly is amazing the grace that God gives us to cope and encourage one another.

As I have spent time ministering to students and a few of my close friends it truly has been amazing the strength and peace God has given me. However in the midst of loss and grief I have found myself challenged and angered on how the gospel shared. My mother who is not a believer and has experienced her share of struggles and trials in this life, is now fighting cancer, and rather than my questions being "why God would you do this to her?" my question has become "how do I share hope to her when things seem hopeless?" I cannot convince my mom or students of the hope that I have. Its not fair to them to have them ride on the faith that I have, they need a faith and a hope of there own.

I have really been challenged to share the gospel in a different way. John 17:3 "And this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent." Eternal life according to this verse is to know God, and Jesus who was sent to die for us. Nothing is said here about having a good life, or not experiencing trials, having money or comfort. Jesus is the joy in this journey called life! Holding onto Him and knowing the Father who sent Him is the gospel that grieving, and hurting people need. In light of all the grief and trials around me I am even more passionate about what I do and making sure that others understand & see the grief and hurt that surrounds us day in and day out! I pray that we are convicted and called to action when we feel as though we may not have the answers to ease someones pain, we do however have the answers for the Life that comes after death.

House Broken...finally

2011-10-18T16:30:00.003-04:00

OK OK so many of you who know me well know that I really am not a "homemaker" by any stretch of the imagination. I have always listed excuses such as not having anyone to take care of in that sense, or that part of enjoying singleness was to not have to do domestic things like cooking and cleaning.
The last few weeks I have been settling myself into another "home." I don't know what is different about this apartment but for some reason I have unpacked boxes that have not been opened since I moved to Florida 5 years ago! Maybe its my age, maybe its my desire to make some place really feel like home, but over the last two weeks I have cooked more than I have in the past two years. It feels a little pathetic to admitt but its pretty close to the truth.
Suppose another possibility for this sudden interest in cooking has come from my lack of funds to eat out so much, either way something has certainly changed in my head to motivate me to become more domesticated. I have really enjoyed cooking and I have enjoyed eating my cooking! I haven't heard any complaints from my current roommate either, so maybe I'm not that bad of a cook :) It feels great to finally be growing up and doing what other women my age do-(so to speak).
Soo if you have any healthy, simple recipes for me to try let me know!! I am anxious to get a few more cooking utencils and also do a little baking!

A year makes a difference

2011-10-07T16:31:00.002-04:00

- One of the biggest things on my list of to-do's in the world of YFC ministry is our 2nd Annual Connection Dinner. The Dinner is an evening where we share the stories of our Palm Beach County YFC chapter, particularly the stories of students who have had significant life-change. During the dinner we give attenders the opportunity to take part in what God is doing in the ministry by partnering with us through volunteering or giving financially.
I really enjoyed the Dinner last year, and was blessed to have gotten some helpful contributions and partners out of the deal. However this time last year I recall being totally paniced about finding a table host and having idividuals to invite. I was absolutely terrified to ask for $300 to pay for the table and I was even nervous about inviting others to attend, afraid that I would be putting them in an awkward position and force them to give money. I remember a feeling of failure as so many of my co-workers had multiple tables and here I was struggling to even ask someone to help me with one table.
Well a year does make a lot of difference! Somewhere in the last year I stopped worrying about what others would think if I asked for money, or their help with finding people to support the ministry. Though I am far from in the black financially speaking, for the dinner I have become an asking fool. It looks like I will have at least 3 tables this year, possibly 4. And because I have asked so many people about the dinner I now have several people to follow up with because I put a "bug" in their ear about YFC. God has obviously done a great work in my heart and mind to keep me in this minstry, I am praying now that I can catch up to my financial goals and that I don't ever stop asking others to get involved.
When was the last time you asked someone to join you in your journey with God whether a mission trip or a personal spiritual journey? I know God has showed me the power that there is when we involve those around us in what He is doing in and through us!

Reunion rewind

2011-07-16T10:54:00.002-04:00

If you read my post a few weeks back about my upcoming 10 year high school reunion you know that despite seeming awkwardness I was excited. Maybe at the time I was excited to get out of Florida though? Who knows.

The reunion was all the fun awkwardness that I could handle and more. There was little to no organization to the whole event. Although it was neat to see my former classmates with their children the "picnic at the park" event was weird. I'm sorry but since I don't have kids I maybe shouldn't have gone. It was the place were conversations centered around potty training and ages being shared in months instead of years??? Though there was plenty of cuteness walking around it just felt weird walking up to someone and not having a child to talk about. I suppose that for some parents this becomes a norm, but it certainly is not a norm for me.

The portion of the event was for a dinner at a local restaurant/bar. I greeted most people as they walked in as you can imagine this was a good fit for me- I could get a "hello, how ya doin?" out before they even saw who was asking. For the most part after entering people went straight to the bar, and after returning pretty much sat with the same people they did in high school in the cafeteria at lunch. It was strange to see how we've grown up but not really changed all that much. Maybe its because we are from a super small town where most of us have kept in touch with our high school friends over the years and those are the ones that we wanted to see anyway?? Or maybe I wanted to have an opportunity to share how past our small town I was as I've moved onto the "beaches of Florida..." I was asked to MC the evening but there was no microphone or an order of events. This is where the awkward moments begin. Everything that I had planned and wanted to do to shake the crowd up was blown up. And the longer it took to figure out what we were gonna do the more awkward it got.

I let down everyone who was counting on me to break the invisible ice. I got nervous and when the time came to take charge I cracked under pressure...Turns out I haven't come as far as I thought I had in the last 10 years? #reunionfail

'Hunger' for my time

2011-07-12T16:45:00.004-04:00

Soo its a week out from YFCamp! And I can't wait, I'm so excited not only to be going but about the group of students that I have coming along with me! However my time this past week/weekend has had me reading the Hunger Games series by Suzanne Collins, every spare minute I have.

I usually don't read and when I do its almost always a non-fiction, spiritual enhancing type book. I have a hard time reading fiction books mostly because if I really get into them I have a hard time fitting my normal life around getting to the end of the story. I haven't gotten to sleep before 3am in the last 3 days...but I just can't put it down. A couple of months ago I had a friend rave to me about the book, but as she described it as a little "sci-fi-ish" I was turned off though the story did sound somewhat interesting. I somehow, (probably from a celebrity news show,) figured out that they were making these books into movies. I almost never hop on a band wagon before everyone else is on it too, so I thought to myself as I perused a bookstore last weekend "why not" just see what all this is about and if its any good. I had a gift card so I wasn't going to necessarily lose money on the book if I didn't like it.

I should probably step back and share how I got to the bookstore on a Friday evening. I am moving yet again and in an effort to save a little on this last month we (my roommate and I) decided to turn off cable and internet. On Friday evening I was sitting at home finishing a book I was already reading and decided to shop and see if I could find another book to occupy my time in the absence of TV, internet, and even the dvd has been packed away. Either way its Tuesday and I'm about to finish the second book in the series, "Catching Fire." I'm hooked and I'm not only eager and persistent to finish the book series I'm also looking forward to the movies that will be coming out. Unlike the "Twilight" book series, and "Harry Potter" (which I have never even read a word,) I am ahead. I may not be ahead of a lot of people but for once I can join in before previews in the movie theaters are getting others to buy the books.

In observation I guess really the main point isn't that I have read a book before the movie comes out but really how much time I have on my hands without television and internet in my home. Not only have I read these books, I've also spent more time with the Lord and read some of those non-fiction, spiritually enlightening books. By not having TV and internet I have not only enhanced my life spiritually, and personally for my ministry, but I have also taken up a hobby which I had always considered myself too busy for.

So in closing I would challenge you to really unplug, and not just from phone, or email, unplug from the distractions you may have at home. Read a book...find a hobby?

Getting Away???

2011-06-28T18:20:00.002-04:00

Soaking up my last few minutes in the office before leaving on a vacation of sorts!

As you all have read I am going home to Kansas to my high school reunion. Nothing really beats being able get away from the momentum that moves our lives forward. I am looking forward to having the license to not answer that phone call or respond to that email. However in the world of ministry where you are in the business of relationships its quite difficult to push relationships away for a period of time. I sat down today with a co-worker who is on a 3 week vacation and not out of town. Before he even came out of his house I had to promise to not talk about YFC stuff. Of course that didn't happen. Its tough when you are in the business of relationships to not take "work" home. Ministry is such a beautiful, scary place to be as a profession. Beautiful to see the all the things that God is doing in the lives of others, and the way he brings people around to serve His causes, Scary because as a profession its so dangerous to look at relationships as business...

How do you view your professional relationships different from your personal relationships? What would you do if they were one in the same?

10 years

2011-06-23T23:23:00.004-04:00

I can't believe summer is in full swing and yet I totally believe it by the sweat found on my back from driving in my car. I have missed filling the blogger world in on so many things as the school year came to an end. Everything from the success of Point Break and the new friends I made to how many students we have gearing up for YFCamp this summer. Even the fact that I am once again looking for new place to live has gone unmentioned here. One current thing that is both exciting and strange is that this summer I have the pleasure/displeasure of celebrating a unique milestone...my 10 year high school reunion. At first thought as 2011 approached I was totally weirded out by this fact. But as online conversations began (and my mom sprung for my plane ticket home) I slowly got excited about this milestone. I'm not really sure what makes me so excited to go back to that awful place filled with embarrassing memories and all the people who would remember them. Most everyone around here (WPB,) that I have told about my reunion has frankly stated that they didn't/wouldn't go to theirs, which surprises me. They share how there is no one that they would want to see or catch up with, or how they were so traumatized by the whole high school experience they couldn't be paid to go back. Don't get me wrong there is plenty from my high school experience that I wish wasn't a part of my life, but I have totally bought into this reunion. Maybe its because I grew up in a small town, so even the people that I didn't hang out with I knew for the first 18 years of my life. Kindergarten through 12th grade, 5 days a week I saw the same faces and took classes with the same people. Not to mention that to this day my closest friendships are the ones that I made in high school which is rare, and we don't even live in the same state, not even the same time zone.

Though there are many many reasons to not be looking forward to this "milestone" I am embracing it. How about you? Did you go to your reunion or regret not going? Or do you think that when the time comes you will pass on the "experience" to go back? If so, why?

Point Break

2011-05-03T11:26:00.002-04:00

So for over a year now, my boss has been working hard to get Point Break approved by the Palm Beach County School District. She finally received a green flag of sorts at the end of 2010, and with my contacts at Royal Palm Beach High we set our sights to pilot the program there. (If you don't know what I am talking about please refer to pointbreakonline.com, though some of you have maybe heard to talk about it already so I don't want to go over everything you already know.)

The date has been set and then set again, and then changed one last time. The one day workshop was supposed to originally take place sometime in February...its now May. Everything has come down to the very last second. Even as I write this I am awaiting a phone call to verify that we have use of the Royal Palm Rec. Center for that day. Needless to say I have only the confidence of God to pull me through to the next task. May 17th is the date, I feel at this point I may be the only one who is eager and expecting this to happen. I am SO hopeful of what this will do for Campus Life's relationship with not only Royal Palm High, but with the school district. I feel this is a door opener for future Campus Life ministry's in other area schools! Of course I am most excited about what it can do at Royal Palm.

So these last couple of weeks have really been crazy, trying to get everything done in my regular duties as a Campus Life Director as well as keep the school motivated and moving forward in this endeavor (Point Break.) I have been working to help the school produce and get letters out to parents, I have helped write proposals for the money to put this on. Many things that are out of my "expertise," but I am loving every minute of it. I just pray that this is everything that I hope it can be. I want so badly want for this to open up the possibility of having a Campus Life presence on campus weekly. I hope to meet lots of new students in order to invest in their lives along with my other adult leaders. I can't wait to report the success of Point Break and how all of this crazy work pays off.

3 things I have learned about leadership in the last month

2011-04-27T17:46:00.002-04:00

Leadership is such a difficult thing to define. There are so many books, seminars, blogs, and people telling us what leadership looks like. Being in ministry the word leader gets thrown around a lot, and in Christian circles the word authentic gets added in there as a bonus. Since I was in high school I have been "taught" and "trained" on how to be a good leader. In school I was always involved in student government, I was also a peer counselor, and a few times was chosen to be an "ambassador" at conferences representing my school. In all those things and even in my adult life I have never learned so much about how to be a good leader than I have in the last month recognizing my failure at it.

-Communication: We are always told what a big effect good or bad communication can have on your ability to be a leader, and I pride myself at times on over-communicating. But I realized in the last few weeks that I communicate openly and often about the positives that are going on in the ministry yet I rarely share the struggles or the things I wish would change. The thing about change when you hold a leadership position is that YOU are the one you can affect change. I was walking around hoping that by my actions and discomfort in certain situations that my volunteers would magically get the picture, then when they would not I would be discouraged and frustrated. I was being a terrible leader by not sharing or taking the time to talk about what was on my mind. I should have found out what the other leaders were seeing and experiencing, but instead I just assumed they knew me well enough to realize what I was unhappy with.

-Confrontation: A little confrontation never hurt anyone, (so to speak.) I have a passive personality, most anyone who knows me can and will attest to this fact. I hate confrontation. But if part of the point to having a supportive team working and serving with you is to have different perspectives then most likely confrontation is gonna come up. The key in this is that as the leader you have to make sure it stays on the productive side of things and doesn't turn sinful. I recently had a very confrontational conversation with one of my leaders but it turned out to be a far more productive conversation than me communicating in positive circles. This particular volunteer took me on the emotional, confrontation roller coaster until a difficult situation was handled and navigated through before future issues arose.

-Responsibility: Any leader in any avenue of life will tell you being a leader is a great responsibility. That fact is a no-brainer...But as a Christian (desiring to be an authentic) leader my responsibility comes from a much deeper place than the office that I work out of. Realizing that my confidence in what I am called to do comes solely from God I can NO longer take that stance that tomorrow is good enough to get something handled or done. I may have been hired to do a "job" by a man, but God has put me here, and its MY responsibility to see to it that what needs to be done gets done! Even if that is having an awkward conversation asking for $10,000 or making sure you are on time to an appointment with a student. Maybe ownership is the better word but I think even that comes down to being responsible with what God has given you. I have forgotten that none of this is about me, so the excuses of "oh thats just my personality", or "nobody cares if I get to that today or tomorrow."

I am a leader of a ministry because God has put me here, and I have been gifted specifically to accomplish what He desires to be done here. For better or worse (I usually learn the most from the worst), until God removes me or calls me elsewhere I have a job to do and I must confidently walk forward unashamed of the outcomes, learning from every opportunity I can. Part of being a leader is to constantly learn, and fortunately God has taught me a lot in the last month about how I fail as a leader, but I believe He did that so I could get better and accomplish more for Him!

The tag line

2011-04-06T17:49:00.002-04:00

The tag line here on my blog states that "my life is a mix-tape full of adventures" but I don't know anymore that my life is much of an exciting adventure. At least not from an outsiders perspective I am sure. I began this blog to chronicle my life's happenings and the many happenings in my ministry. So this is not to say that my life has no adventures anymore but maybe my life is too busy to acknowledge and share the adventures. A point of observation for me in my life is that my life has more adventures of struggle, and drama than of fun and entertainment. I have countless blog post that I began and didn't finish because I thought to myself before publishing...."no one wants to read this." Not that I have a bunch of readers anyway???

I am however doing a study on authentic leadership and maybe its time for me to share some of what is going on in my life adventurous or not. I constant struggle that I believe all people have that I am currently experiencing is the growing pains of friendship relationships. My roommate recently began dating one of my best guy friends, and I was happy and excited for the both of them! I had no idea or foresight to see how things were going to progress to the point of me no longer being apart of either one of their lives. Now this is my perspective to if you have been in the position of my roommate or friend then don't judge me, but I am over it. Maybe its because I am single, maybe its because I'm jealous that I don't have someone special in my life. Whatever it is as relationships change, regardless of why it really sucks. As a 28 yr old single female I have had my fair share of girlfriends and guy friends grow up, get married and live happily ever after. As many times as I have experienced this it never gets easy and it never is handled perfectly by anyone involved. I will end this post by stating that I am sick of being the only person in the wrong, and the only one admitting wrong. It really hurts when people forget who you are as a human being (w/ feelings and a heart) and gang up on your faults as you have become vulnerably by living life with them. This makes me want to close my heart to those around me and not let anyone else into my inner life. I realize this is not a right attitude, I'm just venting here on my blog to be honest of my current "adventure" and struggle.

The Gospel According to St. Matthew- review

2011-03-17T18:49:00.003-04:00

The Gospel According to St. Matthew, is a movie that not only is way older than me (1964, movie- 1982, me) its also Italian made. Supposedly back in 1965 or something this film was nominated for an Oscar or two. I say supposedly because I didn't do any research myself to confirm the truthiness of the Oscar nomination. While on vacation a couple of weeks ago I was given the opportunity to watch this "classic" film. As I was reading through the subtitles (remember its in Italian) of this seemingly slow moving movie I had never realized how little I understood about other perspectives of the Gospel. I know that there are many out there but most of those that I am aware of circle around an American point of view, or at least English. Not only is there a cultural perspective that is slightly different but there is also a religious perspective that made this movie look different from other biblical movie interpretations.

Most Jesus movies do not center around one of the gospels but rather a collection of points from each gospel (Matthew, Mark, Luke, & John). This Italian interpretation was solely from the Book of Matthew, which was quite different to me. My friend @ strangecultureblog.com, did the research that I did not on the director and the back story of this film. It was truly a slow moving movie, and on my own I would not have watched it. However I may have found a new interest/talent as I watched this movie. The "mystery science theater" mock was flooding out of me in a way that I never knew was possible!

All in all I was glad to have watched it. I would maybe not recommend that run to your computer to put it on your netflix cue but as a Christian I would recommend that you stretch yourself to watch, or read something from another religions or another cultures view on the Bible. Its something that not only could help your Christian "world-view" which seems very popular to have these days, but I believe it to be something that can help you to look at the scriptures with a fresh, more open mind and see that maybe there is more in the Word than what we (American churches) have traditional interpreted.

Choice to be open

2011-02-22T00:11:00.002-05:00

There are always choices in life to be made, some are simple like getting out of bed in the morning while others are a bit more challenging like what to wear. Then there are those kinds of choices in life that can change you as a person and change relationships. Many thoughts pop into my mind as tempting choices but pop right back out of my mind because they are just things that I would never really do....like dreading my hair. But the hardest choice of all to make in life (in my opinion), is to open up and be vulnerable with others. Now I hope that you realize that the risk in this is not exclusive to relationships with the opposite sex. You could struggle with opening up to your boss and of course we have all struggled to be honest with our parents at one point or another in our lives. Tonight I took a step to be transparent to my Campus Life leaders. At this point I do consider them all to be friends but nonetheless it is always hard to make that choice to put a piece of yourself out there for others. Others are so human and vulnerable themselves...they have the option to except whatever you throw out there or to say I don't want any part of it. I know that we all have struggles and history's that make us who we are but I personally find it hard to share history with someone who didn't live it or walk through it with me. But since being in ministry there are soo so many things and quirks including history that make me the "minister" that I am. Making the choice to let others know those specifics hard. How should I expect to have true partners without being transparent and not just for leadership sake but for life-giving, community building, Christ-honoring realness' sake. I don't know if my leaders were blessed or encouraged about my openness tonight but even if they weren't I have to believe God had some point in it- Life is a challenge to attempt on our own, but is also a challenge to share with others.

My transition

2011-02-20T17:19:00.004-05:00

So the last post that I had was a while ago about my blackberry and my addiction to it. Very unhealthy I know, but I didn't realize how much of that was truly Blackberry trait and not my personality until I got an iphone last week. There is a lot to learn and really a lot that I didn't learn about my blackberry that could have helped me in my "obsession," but so far I am finding that my favorite part of having an iphone is the fact that it doesn't consume me quite like my blackberry did. Like I have already said some of my problem could have been solved by me educating myself a bit more on my blackberry but the fact that the way the iphone is set up I have not had to educate myself on it at all. As soon as I turned my iphone on and began to add the basic apps (facebook, twitter, angry birds) the settings for each were already set so I didn't need read to figure out how to not be bothered by my phone or rather addicted to it. I feel like in retrospect my blackberry trained me like pavlov's dogs to constantly check it. Maybe I am an easy target for things like that but I am now sold on the idea that Apple is ligit and super user friendly. I am a person who is not techie nor do I really care to read directions. When it comes to technology I learn by trial and error but usually I am too afraid so I stick with basic functions but so far with my iphone I am finding it really easy to branch out! So here is my white flag waving, I have resisted joining the "trend" of Mac products but now see why people love them. I now see and believe that it is more than a trend...they are more than user friendly and long lasting then other technology products.

In other news I am going to attempt this week to try a new way to get myself to blog, and hopefully the few of you who read this will enjoy and maybe I will catch some new readers. I am going to try and blog each day about one element of my life...could be ministry, friendships, things I am learning or maybe a funny story as my life is really full of those! This will be a challenge for me but in an effort to be more disciplined in my daily life and to allow more people to see what my life as a single, female living in south Florida working in ministry is! Hope you all enjoy!

A real need for connection

2011-01-19T21:02:00.003-05:00

- There is this little blinking light on my blackberry, and I love it! It blinks to tell me there is a message for me, a text message or an email, even facebook and twitter make my blackberry blink. I am constantly checking my phone, I go out of my way to pull it out of my purse or walk across a room in the middle of a conversation to make sure I haven't missed anything! This is sad partly because I allow my blackberry to interrupt my day and partly because I look forward to the interruption. I drive my friends nuts, they threaten to take my phone when we hang out because I will pull my blackberry out every couple of minutes. Seriously I can turn the sound off and put it out of my sight and a few times I have still been soo "connected" that I happened to check it at the moment I was receiving a phone call. More than likely that was a coincidence but for a second I thought I was pretty connected to my blackberry!

So I had this thought today that if I was as connected to God as I am my blackberry I could see and know where He is working and what He is doing around me. Even if I reached for God as much as I reach for my phone, my life personally would have so much more power and peace. I am not about to suggest that I give up my phone entirely, but I would imagine that connecting more with Jesus would decrease my interest in whatever my blinking blackberry has waiting for me!

Big Lies

2010-12-21T13:59:00.003-05:00

I was reading this article in a local Christian newspaper about lies people believe as truth. There were 12 of these lies, which a few I don't know if I totally agree with but there are a few that I most certainly find to be true especially working with teenagers. The first one that caught my attention is people have this belief that they are inherently good. It shocks me that people think they are "good." Maybe there is a little logic that goes with this thought in that good is relative from one person to the next and if we can make our own definitions of it then how can anyone be classified as such. Which brings me to the next lie believed to be truth.

The belief that there is no such thing as truth. In my opinion this is a really scary thing to believe, and so many teenagers even "Christian" teens are buying this one. I am not sure if its something we are teaching them in schools or if parents are not being direct enough about right and wrong. The ideas though maybe not termed in a teenage mind are easily pointed out to be relativism, subjective, and objective truth. Even Christian adults 20's and 30's have trouble with these. And the more that I think about it the more angry I become. I believe we have all gotten to this place as Christians by believing that what is sin and conviction to one person does not apply to all. I really don't have the time or the brain to really attack any of these, but I do have the heart to say that it concerns me and I honestly don't have answers. I just know that unless absolute truth is sought and bought into younger generations of Christians will learn to accept anything and therefore not stand for anything at all.

There are so many other lies that are out there everyday that we buy into as Christians especially here in America, as we desire God's best for our lives yet somehow mistakenly think that that is to own a home w/ a white picket fence, and having 2.5 children. I am not saying that can't be what God wants for you but I am thinking that in order for God to accomplish what His desires are for the world that it can't be true for all of us. I believe God's will is just as creative and interesting as the many personalities and gifts that He has given us as humans. If you struggle to know if you have clouded The truth with lies don't read another book or blog about it...read the Bible because real absolute truth lies in the person of Jesus Christ and not our own revelation of our own reality!

The Network...

2010-12-03T14:36:00.003-05:00

To my understanding the Youth Pastors in this area of South Florida have been having "network" meetings for years. I was made aware of this pretty early on in moving here to Florida, working for a Christian clothing store. And when I came of staff with Youth for Christ almost 3 years ago I was excited to be apart of this "network" of youth Pastors and youth workers. In the last 3 years however this network has changed so many different times in so many different ways. It is after all logical that it would have changes, I mean the average stay for a youth pastor is like 18 months or something crazy like that, and leadership is hard for one person with other obligations to prioritize when "networking" isn't a part of their job description.

Well this week we had some miscommunication that took place between some members of the network, and not only am I unclear as to what happened, but there was another organization that may have gotten the impression that YFC was not for them or with them. This is not really the point of this post but this situation got me thinking what does networking mean and when it comes to the Kingdom and His causes how do we accomplish this.

I would never dare to suggest that I have any answers or that my ideas are correct, I just think when it comes to the kingdom and reaching the lost we all have lost the purpose of networking. We constantly pin larger churches in competition with smaller churches, and one organization against another. And this is sad, I can't help but believe that satan is having a hay day with this kind of philosophy, being able create this idea that we don't ALL have the same mission and calling to reach the lost and to disciple believers. This individualized understanding of different talents and gifts doesn't mean we reach out in different ways, doesn't it in fact mean that we work together to do it more completely???

Well I could go on and end up in a very long dialog that has nothing to do with this topic, but I want to know what do you think about networking, have you seen it done right? Or maybe I'm way off and the purpose of a network should be something else- maybe encouragement or accountability? Either way I'm not positive but I don't think the word network is even used in the Bible....however "unity" is used several times in scripture, perhaps we should strive for more of that?

28 things

2010-09-29T15:37:00.003-04:00

I recently celebrated my 28th birthday, which by the way was a lot of fun and very well celebrated. But in honor of this "milestone" in my life I want to share 28 lessons/insights that I have learned about myself and life in the last 28 years!

1. Candy is great, always was always will be! I like dark chocolate best!

2. Meatloaf is seriously over-rated---I do not like, it never have, sorry mom!

3. Climbing trees is really cool until your like 20 then it just looks awkward.

4. Learning how to throw a football is a must for a girl to learn.

5. Skateboarding was easier when I was in the 3rd grade.

6. Having the biggest room in the house is great until cleaning day :(

7. Putting extra sugar on your cereal is really not necessary.

8. Saved By the Bell, was the last great Saturday morning show!

9. 90210 was not a show to learn life's lessons from.

10. When you hide a present don't hide it too well, otherwise it may never be found.

11. I forget birthdays all the time and people still love me? (So its ok to forget, sometimes)

12. Cheesy pick-up lines are fun to try on strangers.

13. I like cake, not frosting though??

14. I'm very glad that flannel was only a temporary fashion trend.

15. I think that when you graduate high school you should move away whether or not you move to go to college.

16. There is a lot more to do in Las Vegas than gamble.

17. I love 4 seasons, (missed them while living in Vegas, still miss them in Florida)

18. Its important to make your bed everyday if you can.

19. Say no to Kava....if you don't know what that is, don't even bother investigating really just say NO.

20. Musicals are the best form of entertainment for a woman...singing/dancing/acting, fabulous combo!

21. The older I get the more I appreciate my time alone.

22. Chick-a-filet is addictive, so stay away if possible. (no not really, but think about it)

23. Cats are disgusting- enough said

24. I am seriously grossed out and afraid of birds.

25. Being single at this age is kind of the bomb!

26. Internet networking like facebook and twitter can't replace actual human interaction but are really cool.

27. Exercise and eating right is important, because after 26 its harder to keep up the look of a 19 year old.

28. Jesus can change a lives.

Summer 2010- Update 1

2010-08-31T11:00:00.002-04:00

As usual I have let way too much time pass since my last blog entry...alas I must start somewhere. The summer is nearing an end, and school has been back in session for the past 2 weeks. So that means that my schedule is moving fast and before I know it Christmas will be here. It seems as though I have not been home at all in the last month or so, which makes sense seeing how most of July and August I was gone. The beginning of July I went back home to Kansas, I had a fantastic time seeing friends as it was over the 4th of July weekend so a lot of us were home. The other days in Kansas I spent with my family, my grandmother passed away so I was able to see cousins and aunts and uncles that I haven't gotten to see in 3 years! Despite the circumstances it was great to see my family and to have the opportunity to be there for them as they grieved. For the first time since graduating high school I had a REALLY hard time leaving Wamego. I even found myself looking in the classifieds...but I came to my senses and hopped on the plane back to Florida. Upon my return I had a very short amount of time to prepare for YFCamp and to move into my new apartment. I left July 29th for Maryland- returned Aug. 7th to leave again Aug. 9th. I got home to my new apartment Aug, 14th, I crashed for a day and a half and bounced back in time for Monday. Needless to say its full speed ahead into the school year and I have barely caught my breathe from an amazing summer! I just wanted to update on life as I have been out of sync for a while. I plan to share more about the specifics of YFCamp and where God is leading Campus Life this school year at another time.

Redeeming Love

2010-06-20T15:44:00.003-04:00

I don't blog too often, and I don't read all that often either but this summer the Bible study that I had been a part of decided to read the book Redeeming Love and do a book club with it. I just finished the book and can't stop thinking about it, I wish I hadn't finished it and that I was still reading it. Needless to say I will have plenty to share at book club this Wednesday, but I have been pondering why I can't seem to get the story out of my head, and concluded that since I rarely blog that this might be a good place to share my thoughts.

First off if you haven't read the book you should, like I said I don't read a whole lot and I managed to finish the book in three days. I could barely put the book down, and whenever I did I would keep thinking about the story. I know I'm not the first person to read this book and recommend it to others. I figure that most people have already read it and I'm behind, but just in case you haven't read it I will try not to give too much away and only share the places it has caused me to go in my mind.

The story in short is about a young woman and the many wounds that had been inflicted upon her in her life, and the man who loved her and would not relent in his pursuit. Of course this is not just a love story, (it is a retelling of the story of Hosea in the Bible). The magic of this book if I may say so, is that as the man is attempting to give a new hope to her, I felt the hope of love coming back to me as well. The underlying spiritual principle of God and His relentless love to not only pursue us but His pursuit of His sovereign will for others to come to Him through our lives struck me differently than it ever had before through the telling of this story.

The other piece of this story that has kept me thinking is how neatly our lives are intertwined in the lives of those who are closest to us. I obviously know that I do not personally exist so closely to Jesus that I can see what He is doing the lives of those around me all the time. Reading a story you can begin to see how easily created characters are used to tell a greater story and in this story every character was telling God's story. I know that in our own lives we tell God's story but WOW, I wish I could see how me along with my friends are telling God's story, or how my family and I are telling God's story together.

Needless to say the ideas in this book Redeeming Love are not new but it has made me think about the perspective of an author...an all-knowing, loving author who never stops working in the world regardless of how hopeless we become in life, relationships, and love. We live in a world full of people who are dying inside their hearts, crying out to be redeemed from a world that has broken us all.

Loss

2010-04-02T17:47:00.003-04:00

Several months ago a friend of mine lost someone close to them, and I watched them go into a tail-spin of sorts. They became someone that I didn't know, and didn't handle it in the way that I would think they might have. It has taught me quite a bit in reflection about loss and all the emotions attached to it. There are a few reasons I would choose to blog about such a "depressing" subject. First off everyone experiences loss, whether it be a loved one or the loss of hope in a situation or relationship, but what I want to talk about is loss in ministry.
In the ministry that I run there are all sorts of different ways to experience loss. I could lose support financially. I lose leaders and volunteers it seems regularly and that loss is certainly felt, but the loss that I want to focus on is the loss of students. My Campus Life club seemed to be growing for several months, and all of a sudden it fell in numbers, for a number of reasons that I understand and I'm sure some that I am unaware of. For the last two years, I have had a couple of students who have totally bought into Campus Life and been excited for everything that we do! They were juniors last year, and are seniors this year and will be graduating in a couple of months. You see last year I didn't have any seniors, so I didn't have to worry about who or what I was losing, but this year is completely different I am losing over half my Campus Life to graduation. I am so excited for these students, I know its their time to move on. I personally miss them already, many of them have stopped coming all together because their schedules have gotten them over -loaded already.
I share this as a loss for me because I have trouble invisioning Campus Life without them. I know that is wrong to say because my vision does span well beyond them as individuals but with my group still being so small I built quite a bit around them. Now I have to move forward and re-work some things with the loss of my consistent students. I am still very, very new at this whole ministry thing and I am not sure how I will cope with the loss to my ministry as well as the loss to myself. It causes me to face all sorts of fears, what if I do crash and burn after this year and what if we don't grow? What if I don't find a new set of key students to help me with Campus Life?
All these fears are accurate, but the truth is not found in my fears. The truth is found in my faith in God to provide a new season for Campus Life, knowing that as I continue to walk in Him I will "walk" into the right students and Campus Life will continue to grow and prayfully flourish! I know youth pastors deal with this all the time, your only in high school for 4 years and then your gone-that's the cycle, simple as that. Perhaps I'm just being a baby and not handling loss in the way that I am supposed to. I need to understand that loss happens and in my personal experience it causes you to grow, and even mature. Though I miss my students already I look forward to the growing opportunity it provides for myself as well as Campus Life.

Struggles

2010-02-23T10:33:00.003-05:00

It once again has been almost a month since my last post, and so often I have what I feel like are great ideas but alas never follow through to get them up on this blog. Seeing however that I created this blog as a way to keep people involved in the ministry and struggles therein I will confess a couple of struggles that I have known are weaknesses for a while but have done little to take action on.
One thing that I fail at is technology, I know many of the things that I should be doing yet don't follow through to educate myself on those things. Facebook for instance is one of those things that for personal use has been really cool and fun, but translating it to a tool that I use for my ministry has been more difficult. And most youth ministers these days are on top of those sort of things. I desire to be on the "cutting edge" yet I have not found the balance of how it works with my personality and interest in ministry. Maybe it doesn't and I have failed to recognize that. I mean should it be easy?
Either way everything is moving so fast in our society today maybe I should be slowing it down for students? Seems like everyday there is something new added to the technology spotlight, I'd have to say that Jesus seemed to keep it pretty simple. He focused on building relationships and meeting new people, but then again teens today totally rely on the internet to build relationships with friends. They go home after school and will spend 4 hours chatting online with friends instead of out actually hanging out with them, or they will text all day instead of having an actually conversation. Well now it seems like maybe I am talking about two different topics, my own deficency in being knowledgable about new technology, and students struggles to know how to really communicate. Its obvious how the two effect one another and at any rate it all has been on my mind lately and has become a bit of a struggle to work through.
The other weakness/struggle that I have been having is more personal, and more of a conviction that I have had. My prayer life has revolved more around myself recently and less on the high school and the students that inhabit it. Last night at Campus Life it was very apparent that there was something lacking...prayer. I had the evening all planned and my lesson worked out and ready, but it didn't seem to matter how prepared I was those students were nuts and unattentive. Not too unusal for high school students but it felt different and once I began to reflect on it I realized prayer had been totally absent from my preparations and delivery on the evening. Huge mistake, but I hope to move forward with this experience to remind me that the most important element of my ministry cannot be missing. I have done well to enlist and invite others to pray for Royal Palm Beach High school, and Campus Life, but have obviously lacked in following through with the task myself.

Isn't He Amazing

2010-01-28T19:20:00.002-05:00

This one will be short, so I'm going to get right to the point. God is Amazing, I'm not really aware of too many people who read this blog that would disagree with that. And He is amazing in all ways not just the few that I can recall from recent times. At this point there is no need for me to not be honest, but I have been living in a coma-like state. My personal life has been a complete mess. I understand that many people have problems and I would never claim to have more than anyone else, or that mine are more important than the next guys but geez I am a mess. Well I have been for about the last 5 months. I won't go into details or rather let me spare you the details...lol.

We all know the verses in the Bible that describe God being strong in our weaknesses... well I am weak, I'm poor, and I'm broken. But I am His, and He has held me even when I have not acknowledged it. More over He has sustained and even grown my ministry. Of course its His ministry anyway, but I don't deserve His intervention on something that I have in recent times neglected. My emotional coma...has caused me to back away from friendships, and even my family. The ministry though, God has given me more than enough to give out to the students around me. He really is the only thing that is good about me. The only good that ever comes from my life comes from Him inside me. And as I stumble through this life personally and professionally (in ministry) He is all that I need! Though I often struggle to be content with that, it is the truth that sustains my hardest days. I have always been aware that He does the real work in ministry, but in my recent struggles He is doing ALL the work and I've never experienced Him like this before. So I just have to say isn't He Amazing!

Tell me about the most amazing thing He has done for you in the past 6 months!

Gatlinburg 2009

2010-01-13T14:50:00.003-05:00

The day after Christmas we loaded up 34 students, along with 8 adults on a bus heading to Gatlinburg, Tennessee. The trip is meant to be a retreat of sorts for high school students. One of our favorite things about the trip is that we are not involved in the planning or execution of the trip. Another YFC chaper from Alabama plans and puts on the event every year. We stay at a fairly nice hotel, and Gatlinburg is a confined tourist town where the students are pretty free to hang out and chose there activites. The activites range everywhere from mini-golf and lazer tag, to aquariums and indoor skydiving. On our way home we stopped to have a snowball fight which pleased many of the Floridian students who had never seen snow before!
Needless to say it was a fantastic trip where we got to spend a ton of time just hangin out with the students. On the way up to Tennessee I had one student tell me about what he had done the night before, (out at the strip clubs) which didn't surprise me too much but caught me off guard as he had never opened up that much before. From that moment on I knew the trip would be a positive experience where I would be able to grow the relationships that I had already established with the students. One more exciting thing to watch happen on trips like this is to se the bonds that build amongst the 3 different schools who are represented. I believe that Campus Life gets more credibility and gains momentum from the students realizing that Campus Life happens in more places than just their school, and more places than West Palm Beach, FL. All in all it was a fun, and very successful trip...I can't wait to return next year. If you are interested in seeing pictures you can look on facebook, we created a Gatlinburg 2009 facebook group where all the students have shared pictures and more!

5th Quarter

2009-11-11T19:52:00.002-05:00

In my ministry one of my plans/visions for this school year was to host a 5th Quarter. Some of you may be asking what is 5th Quarter, well I'm glad you asked. There are 4 quarters in a football game, and 5th Quarter is an event held immediately following the football game. On this Friday night, the 13th I have invited as many of the Royal Palm Beach High school students as I could to come to my 5th Quarter Luau! I have partnered with First Baptist Church of Royal Palm Beach to host this event. The church is perfectly located across the street from the school and should provide for an easy find for post-game entertainment.
I remember 5th Quarter when I was in high school, my youth pastor did it every Friday night after the football games. It was a lot of fun, and a great -free hang out. My hope is to do this next year for most if not all home football games and I'm praying that the school will let me hold it there in the gym. My prayer and challenge to my Campus Life students has been to get 100 students to the 5th Quarter Luau. This past week Campus Life had its highest attendence to date and I'm hoping that means that the word is getting out about Campus Life. I'm very excited about how God is moving and helping me create relationships with students, as well as the school as a whole. Please pray for me and all of the last minute details that need to come together. I am really looking forward this event! I look forward to updating next week with the wonderful things that God is going to do this weekend!

Stepping Up

2009-10-12T14:50:00.002-04:00

So as this semester has gone on, I have tried very hard to be present in the actual lives of certain students. To get into the inner circle of a students life means you have to be present and available. I have adapted to being flexible, some girls call me because they don't have a ride home from school, others are just bored and looking for something to do. By the end of the day it is easy to feel like I've moved wherever the wind has blown. Its exhausting at times, but I am finally seeing the time invested is starting to pay off.
Several of the students have not only grown to rely on me but they are coming to me personally with the issues in their lives. They trust me, and its taken what feels like a very long time to get here but the things these kids are trusting me with is amazing. I have finally gotten to that next level. I of course care about these students and always have otherwise I wouldn't be doing what I do, but I really like these young adults. They are incredible!
What some of them are going through or have to deal with breaks my heart but I have found that journeying with them is so worth it. Being there with them has given me so many opportunities to share what God has done in my life, and its so encouraging to see there reactions to who I used to be, and they are curious as to why I'm not that person anymore. I am breaking through some major walls with many of them, and for some of them I've been the only adult to take the time to listen. I am stepping up not only into these students lives but I'm also slowly being reminded of how much I have stepped up in my own life. God is good, and there's not a better way of being reminded of how good He is than by being reminded of who you used to be.

Funny Story

2009-10-01T13:56:00.003-04:00

This will be short and sweet, but I just need to share this because it was by far the funniest thing that has happened in a while :)

So I am in the student council advisor's (Arnone) office at Royal Palm Beach High, we are chatting with the student body president (Karlie) about homecoming! They were preparing for a meeting with the principal to get all there homecoming plans Ok'd. Then I catch Karlie's gaze on the far corner of the office ceiling, she asks "did you hear that??" She looked pretty freaked out, but we all paused long enough to hear a skamper along the ceiling tiles of the office. We all screamed and ran out of the room...not paying attention to the office being connected to the classroom we ran into the scamper followed us! We all held onto each other and did a little creep out dance (very amusing to have seen i'm sure). Then imediately stormed out of the room and into the schools office to address the issue.

As we arrive and describe the horrific occurance to the two secretaries there, and they promptly send us to the secretary in the front office, stating that "she called animal control earlier today, she would know when they are coming." To our surprise we heard a story about a racoon who had been found and killed in the classroom next to his, so animal control had already been notified. Not a very pleasant thought, but it was definately a hiliarious happening while I was on campus this morning.

JOY!

2009-09-24T12:27:00.003-04:00

Seems so strange that this is my first blog in over a month. I am a bit ashamed as there has been plenty going on to blog about. School of course being in full swing with football, volleyball, cheerleading, and Campus Life, not to mention church obligations. My weekly schedule at first glance doesn't seem so bad, however every week I feel there is not time for me. I am embarassed to admitt that I do not have a social life. And as a 27 year old, unmarried lady this is sad...
I love my job...let me say this again, I LOVE MY Job! I am so blessed, and I am so fullfilled by it. I truly love hangin out with teenagers! They are a lot of fun, and pretty easy to listen to and talk to. But where in all of this did I lose myself. If I didn't have roomates, I wouldn't really have friends at all here in Florida. I of course have my boyfriend, Adam who I spend the majority of my spare time with , but he also works with teenagers so much of our time together is spent with students. I'm not complaining, I'm just wondering where the balance in life is. I can't imagine adding to my life without changing a few things.
Its obvious that without God everything in my life crumbles both my professional life, and my personal life. He is truly the glue that holds me together, and in the last month or so I have felt closer to Him than I have in a long time, but concern in has taken over. I get concerned for students, and money, as well as family that I can't be with. I get concerned for Adam, and my ministry. In all this concern I wonder where I have time for joy. Don't get me wrong I am not complaining and I'm not unhappy in where I am right now, I have peace about where I am, I guess maybe there is something that needs to change or move?
I have so many times prayed that my life would not be about me but about God. And I believe that I mean it, I do want my life to be less of me and more of Him. I guess I just have an inbalance somewhere that has taken my joy in this endeavor???

Things I'm excited about

2009-08-17T21:31:00.003-04:00

As the summer comes to a hault, the hustle of the new school semester offically begins. With only one year under my belt as a Campus Life director I am still filled with questions and ideas (some better than others), in preparation for a new school year. Learning the ropes to this Campus Life thing has proven to be harder than it seemed at first, but I find that to be a good thing. After one school year of getting a lot of things wrong and a few things right I'm praying to be lead to the right people and in the right direction.
Royal Palm Beach High school has been very welcoming to me. By the end of school last year I not only was the asst. cheerleading coach but also had begun volunteering with the Student Government. Now I still have a long way to go but I have several things I am excited about for this coming semester.

-First off this semester I will be starting small groups for our high school girls. These groups will be a mix of christian and non-christian girls as well as a mix of schools represented.

-Getting the word out about Campus Life at Royal Palm Beach High. I've had a year to develope and now I want Campus Life to grow!

-My leaders who assist me with Campus Life are really stepping up this year to help me out so I can have more time on Campus as well as have the time for these girls small groups.

-I am excited to see God at work, now that I am a little more confident in what I am doing I'm look forward turning the corner with the students that I already have a relationship with. I want these students to know who I represent and why I do what I do.

-I can't wait to connect with students who I haven't met yet! I love meeting new people and building new relationships.

-All my Campus Life students who were so committed all last school year, I'm excited to challenge them.

-I am looking forward to all the trips and events that I have coming up...(praying for their success)

Looking back is something that I too often do, heck I even look in comparison sometimes...but the most exciting place is looking to the future. I pray for all the potential that this year holds, I pray that God works through me and around me if He has to.

YFCamp Prep

2009-07-15T12:35:00.003-04:00

Last year was my first experience with YFCamp. I went as somewhat of a last minute addition for a co-worker who didn't have a female volunteer to go with his girls. I didn't know any of the girls before camp and still totally had a blast and got to know each of the girls really well. This year we are taking high school students to camp at an out of state location! We are heading all the way up to Michigan, and no we are not flying. All together it will be pretty close to a 24 hour road trip. I am actually looking forward to this part of the trip, anyone who knows me knows how much I enjoy a good road trip! Not to mention its a good bonding time for the students to get to know one another as well as us leaders. I am not only looking forward to the road trip, and getting out of the Florida heat though.
The YFCamp slogan is "Where everything changes," and I believe that to be true! Camp is one opportunity where we can shut up everything from the world for these students, and let them hear from God. The result of last summer when I didn't know the girls that I went with at all makes me very excited for this year where I am familar with most of the students going. It really is going to be a great trip and camp. Please pray for us we leave on Saturday, the 18th and return somtime on the 26th. Pray that God would change the lives of these teens and move in my heart as well.

Year One

2009-07-08T10:15:00.003-04:00

Well here I am at the beginning of my second year at Youth for Christ. I have learned so much in my first year of ministry. I have a long way go but I already know some things that I want to change for next year.
First of all in the YFC mission statement it states that "..We consistently pursue lost students." Being a person who usually has no problem attracting people and making new friends, I have learned that there is a big difference between befriending students and pursuing them. It really shouldn't have taken me soo long to catch onto this one, everyone wants to be pursued. We all want to know that people want to be our friends or reminders of love from our loved ones. I am learning how instrumental this concept is to what I do as I am meeting students...they need to constantly be seeing my interest in them and their lives.
Another thought that I have stumbled into is how in an evangelistic ministry I must market Campus Life better. After training last summer I really took hold of the idea that this was a relational ministry and so I concentrated only on relationships but without marketing it became increasingly hard to build relationships without new students attending club. I need to not be afraid to invite and tell students about what I do. Campus Life is a fantastic opportunity, and I need to be more proud of what I do there...sharing the Gospel.
There are so many other lessons that I have learned in this first year of ministry. Most of the lessons however have been me learning about myself. I have become very aware of the ways that I personally get in the way of what God is doing around me and through me. Ministry is hard, its challenging spiritually, professionally, and personally. Its hard to feel successful when the measuring stick that you are put up against is Jesus. Praise God that what He sees when He looks at me is Jesus.

Movies

2009-03-25T10:54:00.005-04:00

So last night Adam (my boyfriend) and I went to see the movie 'Slumdog Millionaire,' great movie by the way. As we were waiting through the previews that they always show before a movie (fyi, one of my favorite reasons to go to the theaters) a preview that kinda scared me appeared. Nope not a literal scary movie but an idea that I can't believe somebody got paid to come up with? "G-Force" is a movie about gerbals who are secret agents? What? I know its true, someone actually got paid money to come up with the premis for this movie. Sure its just a kids movie and I think kids will like it, but as I saw this I started thinking up some dumb ideas myself of movies that could be made....

-the 'tree' characters from the "Lord of the Rings" movies (and books, yes i know they were books first)...i think they should get there own movie. It could be similar to "The Never Ending Story", slow moving and kinda creepy.

-A "Life Musical", very much like "High School Musical" but with adults in the work place. Kinda like 'American Idol' meets "the Office".

-In light of cheerleading season being over I think if gerbals can be secret agents that farm animals can do gymnastics?

-How about a Documentary of people on a plane. I think we could all agree that we've met some pretty interestin folks on plane rides, the climax could be when the plane goes down and the only thing to document these peoples lives is this video....

So here are my dumb movie ideas. Wouldnt' be surprised if a couple of them really already existed but I just want the record to state that i want to get paid for my dumb ideas too!

Balance

2009-03-17T14:56:00.003-04:00

My life has always had a crazy flavor to it...however lately there seems to be a little extra, or a lot extra? Over this month I have been out of town a couple of times and plan to be out of town one more time yet. I feel as though I am juggling much more than I ever have before. I feel that my professional life is going well yet, somehow I feel like I'm losing my grip on my personal life. But then again anytime my personal life is going well my professional life lacks. So many times I feel like I have the perfect balance, and then something gets all out of whack? I don't ever see it coming and I don't understand why I can't see it coming. I mean I should, shouldn't I? You would think that I would feel pressure somewhere or catch something about to go wrong. Nope it just happens and I feel like a total victim.
How do you accomplish having a happy personal life, and a flourishing ministry? Before I got into this position I would have thought that your life had to be the ministry and in many ways I still believe that to be true, but I am not Jesus who constantly moved about His life as God. I am just a single gal...I can't imagine the balance that is required for a wife or mother? I know that the key is to rest in the strength of the Holy Spirit, but when your life is go go go its hard to see where you are resting and where you are not being a good steward. One thing that I can say is that in life there have only been a couple times where I have felt the peace that I do right now in my life. I know that I am where God wants me to be, and doing what He wants me to be doing. I am happy, I guess I just desire to control too much. I bet there really is no such thing as "balance" in life or in ministry, I imagine its different for everyone and different for every season in life.

High School Drama

2009-02-20T16:22:00.004-05:00

As I have been spending more time on the high school campus I am increasingly aware of the drama that consumes their lives. I have been asked by students at different times this week how? or why? I put up with them. For the most part I laugh it off and make a joke about how what seems like the end of the world to them is so amusing to me. And its true, I think that in many ways it is funny how they break down with the simplest things, well at least what seems simple to me. In Youth for Christ something often stated is "to live life with the students", at first hearing this I was like "Duh, in youth ministry how else are you going to get to know them?" But now having spent more time IN their world (school) and not just at church or Campus Life I am convicted. In high school as the smallest things shatter their world some of the most serious, and heartbreaking things are laughed about in the event of being "cool."
I have a girl that is on the cheerleading squad who was bragging to a friend about having sex with her boyfriend in the back of his mom's van. And they both laughed and joked about it as if it was the greatest acomplishment she could of had this semester. It broke my heart to hear this....Is this what living life with students really looks like? Another girl who I have spent sometime with has been concerned for a friend of hers who regularly comes to school drunk and leaves at lunch to get "high." Being in their world breaks my heart. I have always known that this job is much bigger than me, and now knowing the faces and names that go with these stories I am humbled and broken that the God of the universe would even think that I could "live life" with these students. I am consistently overwhelmed by the favor that God has given me with these students, that they would share any part of their story with me. I am convinced that not only do I need prayer and strength from God to approach these stories, but the entire youth population needs prayer to get through their stories and their drama.

Next step

2009-01-14T16:35:00.002-05:00

So plenty of new news to update everyone on. First and most exciting is the new man in my life. Adam is a friend of mine that i have known since moving to West Palm Beach. We'd been spending more time together and we have finally made it offical:) I'm so happy and excited. He left for Costa Rica this morning to take some students on a mission trip, and I think i'm going to miss him. Kinda funny how in a matter of days your perspective and concern for someone can change so much.
Campus Life is going in a slightly new direction this semester in an effort to reach more of the student population at Royal Palm Beach High. It is reaching to be bigger and better. However if you know me logistics are not my gift, so I am having to release control of many things and put them into the hands of my very capable volunteers. I am soo excited for how they have stepped up and the plans we have. We will also be changing location which will be soo awesome. My church, First Baptist Church of Royal Palm has opened up their activity center for Campus Life to use! Our kick-off will be Feb. 2, so i'm trying to pull everything together that we will need before then.
As cool as a big kick-off is it doesn't really mean anything without students, so my next big problem is promotion for the kick-off. I am praying for a way to advertise on campus. I need to take action though. I don't know why this is so difficult for me? Its like one step is ok, but when i look at the many steps that need to take place i get so easily overwhelmed and no action is taken at all. Life is hard when I put it into steps, I think I need something else to call steps....maybe I can change the name to gummy bears or something that seems easier and happier???

Holiday Happenings

2009-01-02T17:39:00.002-05:00

On Dec. 18 I, with the help of my brother and sister in law purchased a ticket for me to come home to surprise my mom for Christmas. I have always wanted to come home and surprise my mom but it has never worked out because i get too excited. But this time the whole plan worked out so last minute that I didn't really have time to let my mom know what was going on. The trip was great! I got to spend lots of time with my brother and his wife, which i haven't ever really gotten to do and i got to see mom!
During my trip i also was able to catch up with the Klein family! I love them all soo much and miss them. It was great to get to sit down face to face with them to let them know how much they have encouraged me and taught me about ministry. Christmas Eve was a lot of fun, I spent the day shopping with my sister in law, Kim and ended the day with my extended family! I love my family and miss them soo much. But all of this was not the end of my travels.
I left early on Christmas morning to catch a flight back to West Palm. I arrived with just enough time to do some laundry and get some sleep. Friday Dec. 26th I headed to Gatlinburg, TN. We took 10 students, 2 volunteers, and 4 YFC staff on this Campus Life conference in the Smokey Mountains. We took two days to get there, and stayed for 3.
It was such an great trip. The students that we took along with us were great and with it being our first year going on this trip everything went relatively smoothe. There was a lot of mini-golfing to do, and lazer tag too on the first day. On the second day half of the group stayed and skiied on the mountain in Ober Gatlinburg while the other half of us headed into Pigeon Forge,(home of Dollywood for those who didnt' know). The purpose of going into Pigeon Forge however was not to go to Dollywood but to try some Indoor Skydiving! It was soo cool! I will try and get some photos up of this event. The conference went really well too, of our 10 students 3 made decisions to follow Christ!
We headed out early in the morning on the 30th and returned safely into Palm Beach county around 9pm. I'm am finally out and about having conquered a cold and sleep deprivation. This holiday season has been like no other. I got to see and spend time with my family whom I love and miss dearly, and I got to experience God moving in the lives of teenagers.

The theme of my life:)

2008-12-13T16:38:00.003-05:00

OK so anyone who knows me knows how much i enjoy singing. No matter how good or bad i may sound. I love music and i know a lot of music (mostly popluar music from the last 25 yrs.) So came up with a question that has become something i ask everyone around me. You may have heard it before but as you think for yourself and how you might answer have fun. I have gotten some really great responses...

If you had a theme song for your life what song would it be? You should not have to explain why the song should speak for itself, or rather you! Drum roll please as i reveal my pick for the theme song of my life.

"Dance with somebody" by Whitney Houston!! Take just a moment and picture me singing this for you:) Other responses that i have gotten from the high school students have been pretty funny. Everything from"Final countdown" to "Hokey Pokey". So tell me what would your theme song be?

Discipline

2008-11-20T15:10:00.002-05:00

I believe that everyone knows when you ask God for something that He usually "sends" you trials concerning your request and continues to "assist" you until you get it right. Kind of like when you ask for patience you end up with a broken down car and your having to ride the bus with a screamin child sitting next to. So who knows what I may have ended up with a couple of weeks ago when I began to pray and asked others to pray for discipline fior me.
Little did I know that as I began this endeavor to pray that my opportunities were already in front of me. Simple things like being on time to a meeting, and not eating out when I dont' really have the money. Its crazy to think how soo many of these things are easy and apart of everyday life and yet I feel they are challenging to get done.
Last week I was very busy. I think between Youth for Christ and C28 I worked like 75-80 hours. And believe it or not I actually got more things done. I really dont' know what my problem is and why that is, that when I am the most overloaded I seem to be the most on top of things. Suppose I may have always been this way??? I guess I will keep praying and hope to find other areas to get it "right" :)

New Kids

2008-11-07T13:42:00.004-05:00

I know this blog can really be about whatever I want it to be, however I have seen it as a great tool to infom people about my ministry, however today I want to take a break from that and celebrate my youth...well I'm still full of youth if you ask me more like celebrate my childhood maybe?

For months there had been rumors of a possible New Kids on the Block reunion, and then bam it was confirmed. And they were coming here to south Florida. However by the time I'd gotten around to ask if anyone was interested in going everyone had there tickets already. Only minorly bummed I moved, that is until a week ago when I recieved a call from one of those friends who had tickets and couldn't go. I still had trouble though, who was I going to get to come with me? You dont' go to a concert like that without a friend.

For days everyone who I asked me laughed at me, I took quite a bit of grief for looking forward to this. I stood strong though and eventually convinced my friend Christen to come along.

It is really hard to even describe the scene of this "historic" event. Picture 98% mid-twenties+ women, i'm gonna guess 11% of those were pregnant, (for real never seen so many pregnant women at a concert). 5% men, who were dragged by there significant others.

There were two opening acts for them, first one was "Lady Ga-ga" (whatever), and the second was Natasha Bedingfield! Now I love Natasha, I've been a fan of hers for several years now. When her set was over I went out to see if I could meet her at the merch table. Line was too long but i did get a couple of good pictures of her...the point of this part of the story was the mass-hysteria that took place when the lights went off for the New Kids to take the stage. I really didn't know so many women were into running?

All in all it was a Great concert, laugh if you will, but the whole thing took me back to when i was in the 4th grade and my biggest crush was Joey McIntryre, and I wanted to be just like my cousins (who by the way were old enough to see them in concert the 1st time around). I really, really, really hate to say that the New Kids music is timeless, but for the 10,000 plus women who were at that concert last Saturday night there music holds a place in our own personal history. It was great how there reunion "reunited" us all with the simpler times of life and each other.

The I never post, post?

2008-10-22T15:58:00.002-04:00

So even as I began this blog I had the most incredible of intentions to keep up on it. My good friends had sucessfully excited me about it. The fact that I would have a way to provide others with the info. of what was going on in my life (if anyone really cared), and an opportunity to share my successes and my woes in ministry. Needless to say I was seriously into having a blog. Then I got one.
Boy does that change things. I have done a poor job of maintaining and even posting. Why you may ask as you point out the fact that its not that hard to do. So here are my top 5 excuses..

5. Time, I'm just all over the place these days
4. I've got a Facebook, and a Myspace now what more do you want:)
3. I don't like using other peoples computers for personal stuff
2. I'm not too tech. savy, honestly afraid i might hit the wrong button
1. Have you ever read other peoples blogs...they are good, I'm not clever or funny nor do I have imput to change the world or entertain it.

So there you have it my top 5 excuses. I hope now that I can get over this and get back to blogging a little more often then once every other month:)

YFCamp 08

2008-08-26T10:29:00.004-04:00

I returned from YFCamp a couple of weeks ago, and it has taken me this long to get to a place of relization as to what really happened at camp. I went as a last minute addition because we had too many girls going and not enough female adults. It was middle school camp and even though I do high school ministry because I know camp is always an amazing experience I wanted to go when I was asked.
In my cabin were 7 awesome and fun girls!!!! Camp consisted of the regular camp activities, swimming, ropes course, tubbing, kayaking, and a game room. The game room was usually the place to be as it rained many times throughout the week putting a damper on all outside activities. Cayerio a band from Memphis, Tennessee performed, and a man named Gilbert delivered a piercing message each night. The theme for the week was "Be Real". Being real I learned isn't super hard for most middle school girls especially when they feel comfortable and are around their friends. Six of the seven girls in my cabin went to the same school so they were very open and honest anytime there was small group discussion. And God certainly moved in the lives of each of the girls.
Traditionally camps climax in the mid-week for the Gospel presentation, but at YFCamp the climax begins mid-week with an emphasis on brokeness, and each girl was given the opportunity to release what brokeness they had in their lives, and then continued the next night with the presentation of the Gospel. Now I am not sure when the last time you were truly broken was but this took a lot of time and energy. I remember middle school being horrible and it being a very tough time for me, but at camp I had to come face to face with it and help these girls see that God was there to get them through this. Before the end of camp 6 of the 7 girls made committments to follow Jesus, and really make Him Lord in their lives realizing they couldn't get through it alone. PRAISE GOD! Middle school sucks, and is hard for girls. The real point to this story is not just about the girls and God but about me and God. This was sooo hard to do. In helping each of these girls I realized that even now there is brokeness in my life that needed to be dealt with.
Sooo to sum up YFCamp.....It was exhausting and challenging, but God met the students and me there and it truly was a place where things changed.

Liberty

2008-08-06T15:00:00.003-04:00

So I have been reading this book by Elisabeth Elliot called "The Liberty of Obedience." The book starts out with a great story about a tribe in another country believing that any person from the outside world were cannibals because the other tribes around there area were cannibals. With this they viewed any action by any outside human being to be a trait of a cannibal person. This story brought up some interesting questions and this was just the beginning of the book. The next chapter possed the question "What is mean't by the appearance of evil?"
This really challenged me to think and consider what things that I view as "sin," what things are "worldly" and "holy." When I paired these thoughts together it brought together what a real Christian world-view must be like. Because every culture, and time is/was different, and every persons weakness' are different, sin can change...wait a minute that doesn't sound right? Which brings us to the next chapter discussing sin. The previous chapters had presented a lot of questions regarding sin, and scripture to support boths the sides of legalism and grace. The chapter that I just read helped to clear up some of the questions that had been formulating. Things of "this world" are exactly that things....therefore they in and of themselves can't BE sin. So that leaves only one factor to BE sin...me. I don't really know why this lesson was soo eye-opening to be. I guess to me in my mind it was the perfect mixture of grace, and the truth of the Word. Just as pastors, both past and present have always taught me that the Bible is not just a list of Do's and Don'ts. I knew this but here is where the Need for grace comes into play even if I obey the list of do's and don'ts to a T it could become sin depending on where my heart was because it is me who is a sinner not my actions soo I have to depend on God's grace and forgiveness because I don't know if I can ever be more than I am...which is totally dependent on HIM.

Time

2008-07-24T11:27:00.002-04:00

So I have been very busy these past couple of weeks and the time just seems to be flying. Now I know what you may be thinking and thats that time does fly by, however it seems ever since I began my job at Youth for Christ that the time is going particularly fast. Maybe its just because everything that I am doing right now is being planned so far in advance that I am constantly looking at what's next.
Now most of you know I am more of a spontaneous person, kinda "fly by the seat of my pants", or let me see what else may come up before I committ to an activity:) For good or bad that is me, sorry. But is this what life is like when you become a planner? Everything comes and goes in your life and the enjoyment is more in the anticipation than in the actual events? Someone may have to tell me is this the feeling that people who have this "planner" personality consistantly live in? It is not that I am uphappy about becoming a person who plans things in advance, I just don't understand why life all of a sudden seems to be flying by.
Perhaps it is just a sign of getting older, or it is summertime and summer always goes by faster than the fall and winter. Either way I feel like time is getting away from me and its hard to know when or if I can get control back..........
Control being the operative word, maybe I have just never had "control" before, but what if I am not mean't to have "control". Well I'm definately over-thinking it now. I hope that I can find ways be spontaneous within my plans, and enjoy time whether its rushing past me or standing still.

sleepy Emily

2008-07-17T10:57:00.003-04:00

I am house sitting and with the house came a cute dog named Daisy! And with Emily came a cute puppy named Bellagio! Although it is a blessing to have a roof over my head, this situation quite honestly sucks. The dogs are not used to each other, Daisy isn't used to me, Bellagio isn't used to this house and routine, and I am not used to not getting any sleep because of irritated dogs....Needless to say this is much harder than it looks. blah blah blah, this basically is just a little rant on me being tired. I can actually feel myself getting cranky. Sooo if I snap at you sorry, and it won't get better for at least another 10 days:)

Workin It Out

2008-07-09T11:07:00.004-04:00

I know its been a month since I have posted anything...sorry. I have been in transition. transition in new job, living situations, and my best friends are moving out of state with their little girl who I only met 3 weeks ago:( I'm very blessed however to have God work all things out!
The lease was up on the house I was living in with 3 girls, July 1. But with June being the month that I took off 10 days to go for YFC training, and only working part-time when I got back, I was seriously short on cash and therefore could not afford to get a new place to live in. It was lookin like I was possibly going to be homeless? Then God stepped in as He always does and provided me with a couple of housesitting gigs, (one of which is paying me to stay in their house). Also my insurance switched over this month to a new carrier so I recieved a refund of the same amount of money as my new payment will be. So even though I am scraping to get by God has worked everything out for me. He has even given me a place to stay for the month of August, rent-free so I can save to get a place of my own. Not to mention on a personal note, several months ago when I helped with Chipotle's Wellingtion opening...remember, well 3 weeks ago I recieved a package from the marketing manager Rebecca letting me know that I had won "free Burritos for a year!". So not only do I have a roof over my head I have food to feed myself with:).
I'm sure that I have freaked everyone around me out by being soo calm about this whole situation, but as you can see I never had any reason to worry or doubt what God was doing. Faith is a gift from God and something that is constantly being worked out in our walk with the Lord. I can't tell you enough how Amazing it is to have full peace on where my life is going whether it be a living situation, a financial situation, personal situation or a ministry situation. God is soo much bigger than I can grasp, He knows Emily @1, Emily @25 and Emily @65. Thank you Lord for allowing me to know you, please continue to prove to me that you are in control.

YFC-

2008-06-16T13:37:00.002-04:00

The 5 essentials of YFC...

Wide-Spread Prayer- We in deliberately engage lots of Christians to intercede on behalf of the ministry site.

Loving Relationships- We consistently pursue lots kids and engage them in lifelong relationships with Jesus

Faithful Bible Teaching- We accurately handle biblical truth, regularly coaching kids to apply it in their lives.

Collaborative Community Strategy- We intentionally work together with local churches, agencies, and other partners to provide sustainable youth and family ministry.

Adults Who Empower- We strategically develope leaders to reach young people from every people group.

All of these "essentials" will become the foundation of the ministry that I will start at Royal Palm Beach High School. My next steps as I begin are to gain prayer support, get myself into the school in order to build loving relationships with kids, and research and meet with as many people in the community to make them aware of Campus Life and the vision of YFC.
This is a small portion of what I learned at Summer Institute 2008! I had a GREAT time at Institute leatning more about the organization of YFC. I'm excited to get started and put what I learned to use!!

Raising Time

2008-05-10T15:50:00.003-04:00

This past week though I was very busy working and getting ready for my "Purity Overnight" event, I scheduled in one meeting with a couple who were interested in my ministry with Youth for Christ! It was incredibly exciting not just because they decided to give, but because it gave me an opportunity to really focus and share about my passion and vision with YFC. Everyone would agree that when you find like-minded people that have the same passion or share your passion, its refreshing. It's going to be challenging to find those people but they are going to be so good to have in my life. Keeping these kinds of people involved and updated in my ministry at YFC will keep me accountable and revived. To continuously be sharing God's mighty works with those around me and close to me will keep me on my toes so to speak. I plan on making a few more meetings; (if anyone is interested and wants to know more about what God is doing in my life...give me a call, or I'll call you:) And I would also encourage you just for your own spiritual sake to find someone and share with them what God is doing in your life and the directions He is leading you in this week/month/or year. You may find another like-minded person who will not only keep you accountable but help ignite that fire that God wants to see continue to grow in you. Making the time for this I am guessing will become essential for my ministry, and though it may be hard and schedules may conflict a bit I'm thinking these meetings will be very worth while and prove to have eternal effects for the encouragement and direction it will/can bring.

Surfing Is Fun!

2008-05-04T14:15:00.003-04:00

Since I first moved to Florida, I've tried to explore new things and attempt the things that I've never had the opportunity to do before. Well let's see I grew up in rural Kansas, and graduated to the deserts of Nevada? One of the biggest on my list to do, not to mention scariest was surfing. You see being from Kansas (no extra large bodies of water), and having lived in the desert (no bodies of water at all), makes the vast ocean and all its extra large animals with teeth kinda intimidating. Nevertheless I resolved to not miss out on the opportunity if it was given to me, though I nearly didn't.
After church last Sunday, a friend of mine was taking some of the kids from his youth group surfing. The kids, not him insisted that I come, one girl pleaded that she not have to be the only girl out there with the guys, so I went. I had no real intention of getting out in the water little own on a surf board. The students went out on the boards for about an hour or more, and when they set foot on the beach they yelled for me to get out there and try it. I hesitated though secretly I really wanted to. Their push was enough, I looked at my friend who had already attached to board to my ankle, and I was off into the vast ocean with all its inhabitants.
My friend Chris was patient and helpful. He explained enough to me that I wasn't nearly as uncomfortable as I thought I would be on a surf board. With Chris' help I was eventually able to catch 3 waves....of which I actually stood up on one! I really enjoyed it and though it presented some challenges I would really like to go again soon!! But I'm pretty sure the waves are about gone for the season??? Alas, there is always next year.... right??
I wonder what will be next to cross off my list, as my interests and adventurous side continues to grow. Its taken me some time but I think I'm finally enjoying south Florida and all there is to explore here! I'm glad that I finally took the time to do something that I'd been wanting to do, and I'm glad that those students wouldn't take no for an answer!

UMMM Burritos!

2008-04-28T22:47:00.003-04:00

Since my first tasting of the beautiful Chipotle burrito I've been hooked. To the point where when I moved to Florida one of the first things I did was google where the closest Chipotle restaurant was? To my dismay it was in another town south of where I live in Boynton:( I was soo sad until I learned that it was really only 20 minutes away. And believe it or not in no time I had boyfriend that lived their to help support my habit. Though the relationship was short lived it did not taint my devotion to Chipotle, however it did put a damper my frequency of the restaurant....Not long after that though a new one popped up north of me. A little bit closer to me but I go north even less than I drive south. So my burrito intake has slowed down to a depressing no more than once a month:(
Alas....literally around the corner from my house...not even a 5 minute drive, Chipotle Wellington is about to open this week!!! In fact during my last visit to the Chipotle north of here I made friends with one of the managers and struck up a conversation of my love for the restaurant. I took the opportunity to get the "dish" on the Wellington Chipotle, I was dying to know details that no one else would know. When I shared an interest in getting the word out about the opening he gave me the business card of the marketing manager for the south Florida Chipotle restaurants. I made the call, and boy did it pay... Not only did I find out that on Wednesday they are giving out FREE burritos all day, but I was also given the opportunity to help her pass out flyers in the mall! Out of the deal I got coffee, and I'll be receiving a "Chipotle backpack!!!", in addition Wednesday I will go and get my FREE burrito. The greatest gift for me in all this though is Chipotle as my neighbor....I can once again enjoy them as often as I can afford them! :)

Linden Paige-

2008-04-22T18:22:00.003-04:00

Linden Paige, is my best friends daughter. She is yet to be born, but I look forward to her arrival with great anticipation! Many times just the mere thought of Linden coming into my life has stopped me, and when I really think about her I get very emotional.
You see I've known my best friend since the 6th grade...though I'm not that old most friendships don't span that long and have the kind of history that we do. Don't get me wrong we have a few other girls that we've known equal amounts time and are still close to, but this chick and have leaned on each other through a lot. And in edition to that the last year and a half her husband Ryan and I have worked together. Having a friendship that close with her husband has strengthened our friendship, and given me an even greater reason to rejoice with them in the coming of Linden.
I want to take a second to make some predictions of who Linden Paige will be. . .
First and foremost this girl will be Loved!!! Between her parents, and being the first grandchild on both sides of the family she wins hands down on the loved and yet-to-be-born child of the year category.
Second she is gonna be smart....probably smarter then me by the time she's 6, no lie. Ryan and Kim and very intelligent and pretty driven that way.
Third thing I'm predicting is that Linden will look like her mom, but have her dad's coloring and height. Total guess but I did say these are just predictions.
Fourth prediction is that she will love children's board games!! And most of the time will beat me at them, refer to 2nd prediction.
Fifth prediction is that she will potty train and walk sooner than most babies????
Sixth and final prediction for today is that she will like Asian food, no real reason for this one just a hunch?
While Linden's due date is still at least a month and a half away, I'll have to be honest and say that I really just can't wait for her to be here. I can't wait to see my best friend become the mom that she has always wanted to be, (well once she decided she didn't want to become President of the United States so at least that long).

Busy Changing

2008-04-22T16:07:00.003-04:00

So its been a very busy week. Who hasn't had crazy week? I'm sitting at home by myself and I feel like this is the first time since the new year, though I know that is not true. In the last week to week and a half life has begun to show the effects being ever-changing. I'm all about it (change) until it zeros in on the things that I'm not ready to change....we've all had those experiences where we knew it (change) was comin and then when it finally arrives you resist it and pretend to be blind-sided. Ok maybe not everyone but I know that I am a flawed person and just because I do what I think is "right" doesn't mean that those around me won't be effected in a negative way. You never know?
Anyway the challenges of change are real. Lots of things change constantly; the price of gold, the open field down the street thats gonna become a Kohl's, I mean even Starbucks serves a different blend of coffee every week, and especially pop culture changes.
While in the 3rd grade a hip hop song was VERY popular, you may remember it "Ice Ice baby." (Do not even pretend that you don't know it). So I was a huge fan...I even recall making up a dance routine to the song with a friend at recess, yes I did happen to have all the words memorized. But after just a few short months (that at the time felt like years) Vanilla Ice was virtually off the scene. With the exception of the 2nd Ninja Turtles movie where he made a cameo. He was my favorite, I even watched a motorcycle movie that he starred in, that I am sure got less than great reviews...if any at all? So last week I'm working and in walks Rob VanWinkle (aka. Vanilla Ice). Of course the oh so young employees working with me didn't really have a clue when I got excited. I got his autograph, and we had a very pleasant 15 minute conversation. He was a very nice guy.
My point being that even the people we idolize and look up to change, as well as the perceptions that we have of them. So I'm thinking that the same goes with any person in our lives. As I ponder the people and things changing around me, I'm forced now to look at myself and how I'm changing. Its very hard to look at others while your changing yourself because you begin to think that your in the wrong, though sometimes true I'm finding it better instead to look at Jesus. He is the example that I am to follow and look to for true affirmation in my life. So as I change in the sanctifying ways that He desires its challenging and rewarding but the hardest part is that most people around me never really understand what God is doing in my life. Nor do I understand what He's doing in the lives of them. All I know is right now God is the one changing me and the extent of it is yet to be seen. Hard but good, big and small changes happen all around me and even in me!

Support

2008-04-14T20:18:00.002-04:00

OK, so the real reason I started this blog was in keep my friends informed of my life and mission. Many don't know but I'm getting ready to raise support to become a full-time missionary with Youth for Christ (YFC). This is an incredible opportunity for me and very personal as 12 years ago came to know Christ through a Campus Life club ran by YFC! This endeavor is very personal to me as well as humbling. God has called me to step out on faith and do this. However raising support isn't going to be easy.
Obviously the "biggest" support that I can receive is financial, and although that is important as I have begun this process I'm learning that spiritual encouragement, and prayer are actually the hardest to come by.
Over a month ago when I first began to pray for God to open doors in my life most everyone agreed that it might be time for me to change up life a bit. Not to mention it would be great to know and be right where God would want me to be. After a series of meetings and different interviews God clearly has directed me to YFC. I'm sooo very excited. And as I write (type) this my letters are sitting in my room ready to go out. I'm quite nervous about this step as it makes everything real. There is no stopping once those letters go out. Either my support comes in or it doesn't?
I know God will provide and make a way for me to do this. My prayer is that by sometime in June I will have all the money I need. I want to be on staff with YFC before July. So please pray with me that that will happen! Its soo cool to see God answer prayers specifically!
Spiritual encouragement and supporters have been hard to find? I can only pray that more people will see my call and my heart for this ministry. Since I made the decision to follow God in this step I feel that I have lost "friend" support. In the last week I've felt very attacked. I know that satan attacks when we move closer to God and His will for our lives, but I really just want people to rejoice with me in what God is doing in my life.
God has blessed me with many friends who are doing just that, but I am struggling right now to focus on that with a few negative situations going on. Support is a very important yet illusive word. For support in life most people look to their family and closest friends, but even that isn't always enough. I'm truly in the process of learning that in ALL aspects of life God is my support, whether is be financial, emotional, or especially spiritual. My dependency must increase in the Lord, and decrease in those situations and people around me.

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26

My blogging beginnings

2008-04-12T09:54:00.000-04:00

Today is the day....I have something to share with the world, kinda. I started this blog last night with the help of my friends Ryan and Kim (round of applause please, it looks great?).
So my adventure for today is to hang out with my friends Kelly and Ezra, were taking there boat out on the ocean! And I'm pretty sure I will be talked into wake-boarding, whatever that means? But the real adventure today will be to disguise my burned skin from the sun. You see I went to the beach yesterday and stupidly didn't put any sunscreen on my back section. Yes folks this means that not just my back but my booty as well as the back of my legs will suffer from my stupidity. I don't know how do you hide that "large" of a section of my body from the sun when I'm out on a boat? Anyone with actually tips will just have to call me before 11am.
The bright side to this is that finally after living in West Palm Beach for a year and a half, after this burn goes away I will have a...tan!!! Yes this is very exciting news as I am white...with the exception of my back which right now is red. I'm really looking forward to this today, it makes me feel like I am how I wish I was.
Silly way to put something I know, but what I mean by that is, I like to view myself as an outdoors, active type person. However life is busy and we many times have to trade our "want to do" for the "right thing to do". Its a challenging to tell people that you like outdoor activities when you are white as snow and the last "outdoor activity" you participated in was eating, which in fact involves very little activity. I am still adjusting to the culture of activities here in south Florida, and I try to get out to enjoy as many as I can, but time is limited. So I will be very thankful for today and the time I'm given to do something that I want to do (even if my backside suffers a bit).
So on goes the adventures of Emily.....remember to put on your sunscreen!!